The woman who is circumcised has not only been denied her human right, she has also been denied a lifetime of sexual pleasure. Female circumcision or female genital mutilation (FGM) almost always involves cutting of the clitoris. In the womb, the genital tubercle forms the clitoris in girls and the penis in boys. Both the clitoris and the penis expand to sexual stimuli. Both are wired with nerve cells that help us achieve orgasm during sex. Cutting off the clitoris in a girl is like cutting off the penis in a boy. Can you imagine life with part of or the whole penis cut off? Ouch!
Sadly, in most cultures where female circumcision or female genital mutilation (FGM) as it is often called is done, the aim is to prevent female promiscuity. To discourage sex before marriage and extramarital affairs afterwards. However, the reverse is the case.
There are usually two scenarios:
- The circumcised lady has little or no interest in sex. She finds sex a burden. There is no pleasure in it and it is painful. She would find it hard to respond to your sexual advances all the time. She may find sex painful or a burden and never looks forward to it. If this is the case, the husband will find his wife a ‘difficult’ woman who does not like to have sex probably because she doesn’t ‘love’ him or she is ‘selfish’ or getting sex from outside. The man would probably abandon the woman at home and get sex from lovers outside of the marriage.
- The circumcised lady has experienced sex but she can feel there is more to what she is feeling. She is sexually frustrated with her partner and thinks the problem is with the man (he doesn’t last long enough, his penis isn’t big enough etc.), so she tries another man and another man looking for orgasm. Promiscuity results as well as a poor self-esteem.
In both scenarios, the circumcised lady is at risk of sexually transmitted infections either from the husband or from her promiscuity.
If you are a man married to a woman from parts of Africa or Asia where female genital mutilation is practiced, you should ask your wife if she is circumcised.
If your wife is circumcised, imagine you lost your penis as a baby to the cruel hands of culture and think about how your wife will feel today if she is to have sex with you without your penis (let’s say you have a dildo strapped on).
At least now you know how hard your woman tries to accommodate your sexual demands. You need to be understanding of her situation. Be gentle, increase the time for foreplay and explore together other areas of her body like the nipple or the G-spot so as to help her achieve sexual satisfaction.
Circumcised women are also prone to urinary tract infections, repeated vaginal infections, painful menstruations as well as difficulty passing out menstrual blood. There may be a back flow of menstrual flow causing infertility.
Apart from sexual problems like pain during sex and inability to enjoy sex or climax, they are more likely to have complications during childbirth.
Many suffer from depression, anxiety, low self-esteem.
These women have suffered and continue to suffer from the effects of female genital mutilation.
To the man whose partner is circumcised, there is a need for you to be understanding and supportive. Remember love conquers all.
