I know a lady who loves to draw attention to herself all the time often in dramatic ways too. She cries too much and I just think I have had enough of her. One moment she is so sad and crying, the next hour she is laughing hysterically at a joke. What baffles me is her relationships. When she is in love, she is ‘madly in love’ she will talk about nothing else but ‘the guy’, she won’t be able to sleep or eat and when the lover travels, my God, you would think someone died with the way she would go about ‘how she can’t live without him’.
The sad thing though is that her relationships don’t last long before you know it she is with a new guy and the cycle starts all over again. I would describe her as shallow.
Do you know someone like this? Well, if you do, be kind to them because this is likely a medical condition.
Histrionic personality disorder (HPD). The scenario above describes a person with HPD. Patients with HPD have a poor self-image and they often seek approval from others about their self-worth.
‘Am I not pretty enough?’ is a common question they ask. They love to blame others for their failures and constantly look for your approval or reassurance before they can move on.
HPD is more common in females. It commonly starts in the early twenties and if not treated would continue for life.
The lady with HPD has an overwhelming and uncontrollable desire to be noticed wherever she goes and would behave inappropriately to get noticed. She is intensely dramatic.
Typically, she is the lady who runs to the stage to hug the musician, she is ‘the girl’ who shows off her boobs to the boys who in turn scream away in ecstasy as they approve of her. She calls every man darling or sweat heart even at the first meeting. She lacks the ability to delay gratification, if she feels it, she must act it out now!
She dresses provocatively at all times with the intention of making heads turn her way. She is the drama queen, the attention seeker. She also acts seductively. Licking her lips seductively, tapping a man’s lips lusciously, and other seductive gestures to men not her lover are typical of patients with HPD.
If she is on social media, she will hunt for your ‘likes’ and ‘comments’ using whatever means possible and when you don’t like the picture she posted she will send you a text to ask why.
She is likely to think a guy is ‘hitting on her’ when the guy is making a simple gesture like a thumbs up. It is not uncommon for her to think a person is in love with her when the person was just being polite.
She is easily convinced and influenced by friends. She constantly looks for their approval. HPD patients are emotional and very sensitive to criticism. They get frustrated easily and are known to change jobs often.
The exact cause of HPD is unknown although genetic factors and traumatic childhood experiences are said to play a role.
Diagnosis is made by psychological evaluation which assesses history, severity of symptoms, behavior, and overall appearance. The treatment is mainly psychotherapy except there are comorbid illnesses.
Treatment can help people with this ailment to learn creative ways of dealing with the condition.
As a friend to someone with HPD, you need to set boundaries. While you empathize with whatever issues they bring to you, be sure to point out and address seductive behaviors in a frank manner.
Be kind to them now that you know that people with HPD do not know how to cope with losses, failures nor can they handle frustration.
HPD can improve with adequate psychotherapy but if left untreated, this ailment can cause them immense problems.
The sad thing is that many patients with this ailment do not think they have a problem and will not show up for treatment.
But you can show your support and encourage them to do so. After all, what are friends for?
