Narcissus was the son of the river god Cephissus. He was extremely good looking and had a lot of charm. He was popular. He was also very proud and had a reputation for only loving himself. He never gave love back to those who loved him. Nemesis the goddess of revenge heard about his escapades and decided to teach him a lesson.
She tricked him to a pool of water where he saw his own reflection. Narcissus immediately fell in love with what he saw. He did not even realize it was his image. He loved his image from the pool so much that when he realized he couldn’t get the image to love him back he committed suicide.
The word Narcissist is derived from the name Narcissus based on this Greek mythology. Over the years, the story has evolved into different versions but the central message remains true.
A narcissist only cares about himself.
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a mental illness.
If you have NPD, an honest friend would probably describe you as snobbish, boastful, vain and fake. You are likely to dominate arguments as well as force your views down everyone’s throat. You believe you know more and possess the right to educate them. You exaggerate your status, achievements, and talents and can only hang out with the big boys, nothing less.
You carry around you an air of superiority and look down on many with disdain. You probably like to describe yourself as confident but naaah ( I am sorry to burst your bubble) this isn’t confidence.
Your constant need for admiration may well be because deep inside, you are scared and vulnerable. Which is perhaps why you don’t like criticisms because secretly you fear shame or humiliation. If anyone opposes your view or opinion you take it very personal and respond aggressively.
People say you like to ‘use’ others to get what you want and dump them afterward but you don’t believe this. You are convinced that people envy you a lot.
You don’t get along with people very much. Truth be told, your friends and colleagues do not enjoy being around you too.
You think you deserve more attention, more favors, more admiration, and more appreciation than what you are getting right now. You truly believe this and this brings you grief.
The mainstay of treatment for narcissistic personality disorder is psychotherapy.
However, you don’t think that you have a problem. Having a ‘problem’ is not something you like to associate with especially because you are very concerned about your image, power and what people think about you.
When you invariably decide to see a doctor, you do so because of depression which often sets in because of your inability to deal with what you see as rejection or criticism.
So what are the possible causes of this terrible ailment?
Excessive pampering of a child during childhood has been linked to narcissistic personality disorder.
Telling a child, he is special is great but a child that is told that he is great over and over and over again while failing to point out his flaws with a view to correct him is a good candidate to develop NPD.
Excessive criticism of a child while growing has also been linked to NPD. Constantly telling a child he is no good will lead to a grown up with low self-esteem, an adult who seeks constant admiration and is self-absorbed.
As parents, we own enormous power and we owe it to the kids we raise and indeed humanity to balance praise with criticism and love with careful discipline as we go about bringing them forth.
